Impractical Cartoons
by Zoryan El Muerto
Summary: Warning the following fic contains scenes of stupidty among four Cartoon friends who compete to embarrass each other. Parody of Impractical Jokers. Rating may vary.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, this will be a new fic I'm starting. I have four cartoon boys who will compete in several challenges and try to embarrass each other, inspired by one of my favorite non cartoon TV shows Impractical Jokers. The cartoon jokers will be...**

 **Marco Diaz**

 **Lincoln Loud**

 **Dipper Pines**

 **Penn Zero**

 **These guys will face many types of embarrassing situations while seriously weirding out the public, in a new hidden camera fic call**

 **Impractical Cartoons.**

 **Don't worry, nothing to disturbing or disgusting. I'll try to keep it a Teen rating. Some slight swears and odd humor.**

 **If I get five reviews from five different people, I'll do it.**

 **Well let me know what you think.**


	2. Royal Fools

**All right you wanted you, you have. Quick reminder the jokers will be in their twenties. And also no offensives to anyone the jokes the guys make somehow offends anyone, if so apologies to them.**

 **At a restaurant, in the park, and a mall.**

We start off the first episode with the boys in White castle uniforms. I'm gonna start of simple.

Lincoln: We're at one of the oldest restaurants in America: The Castle of White.

Penn: we'll be working behind the counter, also we have to do and say whatever the other guys tell us.

Dipper: if you can't you lose.

Marco: Prepare to get slained.

 **Marco**

We start with Marco who is looking a little lost behind the counter. "I feel like I'm at a home turf disadvantage."

Dipper: why would you think?

"White Castle?"

The others just realized that.

Others: ooooooooooh

Penn: you'll be fine, we'll start simple.

Just then Noah from Total Drama walked in.

Lincoln: just yell the order to the back.

Noah said "I'll take a number 2 extra pickles"

Marco to the kitchen: NUMBER 2 EXTRA PICKLES

Noah raised an eyebrow "... a medium fry"

Marco: MEDIUM FRY

"And a small tea"

Marco: AND A SMALL TEA, would you like that in herbal or sweet.

"Herbal I guess"

Marco: HERBAL

"Why are you yelling everything behind you?"

Lincoln: Because I'm a Latino in a white restaurant.

Marco looked annoyed "Because... I'm a-

" A latino in a restaurant that has white in the name?"

"Uuhhh yes."

"Meh, it's not a literal."

Penn: alright will take.

 **WIN**

 **Dipper**

"Okay lets get this over with."

He was approached by a white woman with black hair.

"What can I get you ma'am?"

"Hmm, I'll get a veggie burger and fires"

Marco: act like you don't know how to work the register

Dipper then looked like Leni Loud and just pushed all the buttons "Okay is it this one, this one, DOH" until he hit himself with slot where money goes.

"hehe, you're funny"

Penn: flattered but I git my eye on someone else

Dipper then told her "Sorry I'm flattered but... I kinda have my eye on someone else" _What are they doing?_

"really who?" the lady asked, meanwhile someone just walked in the door. This someone was a stunning blonde in designer clothes looking at her phone, The other guys saw this.

Lincoln: well

"Well..."

Lincoln: She's got the looks to match the personality.

"She's got to looks to match the personality."

Penn: is a beast in any sport she plays.

"Is a uh beast in any sport she plays?"

Marco: and she's right behind you.

"And she's... right behind you?" he finished confused.

The customer looked around and saw what she thought he was talking about and moved so he could see...

"Dipper?"

"Pacifica!"

"HA!"

The blonde who turns out to be Pacifica Northwest puts her phone away and walks up to the counter. Dipper got all sweaty knowing what the guys did. "Uhhh how much did you hear?"

"About all of it." She then hands him a stack of twenties "this will be for her meal, and mine"

Dipper whispers into his earpiece 'I'm gonna kill you guys.'

Penn: well you're done now.

 **WIN**

 **Penn**

A customer who looked like he was in his forties walked in.

Lincoln: old English, old English

 _"Good morrow sir, and welcome to the Castle of White. Bring ith to me, and I shall slay it."_ Penn said like a person from the Renaissance.

"Two hamburgers"

 _"Two, burgers of ham." Penn pressed the buttons on the register of cash._

"Two cheese burgers"

 _"Two, burgers of cheese."_

"And an ice tea."

 _"One, tea of the ice."_

"It's free?"

 _"Your wit sire, is legendary." he then pretended to have no idea on the modern cash register "Tis confusion"_

 **Win**

 **Lincoln**

Marco: you are really showing the dedication to this place aren't you.

"Oh haha very funny because of my hair."

Just then he saw someone he knew very personally.

"Ronnie Anne!"

"Lincoln! Man I haven't seen you in person in a long time."

Penn: I know why did you move away.

Lincoln looked sad "I know, Why did you move away?"

"I've been asking that the whole time."

Marco: you know if you want to make up for lost time,

"You know Ronnie Anne, if you want to make up for lost time,"

Marco: I could bring you to my apartment and REALLY make up for it.

Lincoln then got embarrassed by that. "Uhhhhh, I could..." she looked at him.

Penn: come on say it.

Dipper: we know you want to do it.

"Uhhhh we could check out the new mexican place that open?"

The others: awwwww man.

Ronnie Smiled "I would like that" She leaned over the counter and kissed him on the cheek.

"Well I may have lost but it was so worth it."

 **Lost**

 **Lincoln totally bailed, and now he's the first one up on the loser board.**

 **Lincoln: 1**

 **Marco: 0**

 **Dipper: 0**

 **Penn: 0**


	3. Help Me Bury This?

**Lincoln: 1**

 **Dipper: 0**

 **Marco: 0**

 **Penn: 0 (get it)**

Now the guys were in the park, Penn and Dipper were on opposite sides of the group holding shovels.

Penn: We're in the park asking strangers one simple question.

Marco:(Serious) help me bury this?

Lincoln: We won't know what we'll be burying becuase it was left for us by the other guys.

Dipper: If you can't get someone to help you bury the mystery item, you lose and you'll be six feet under (raises the shovel)

Lincoln: uh that's a little extreme.

 **Marco**

The Latino joker was waiting around until he saw an Asian woman and asked "Hey uh odd question but, could you help me bury something?"

"Uhhhh I guess a couple minutes couldn't hurt"

"Oh thanks"

He then lead to a blue tarp, this was where they'll be burying the things.

Dipper: wait till he sees what we left him.

"Okay this wont be long just need to bury this..."

He pulls the tarp to find a plate of nachos.

"plate of nachos?"

She looked at him questioningly.

Penn: good luck explaining that.

Marco tried to explain "Uh well you see... these were nachos my uhhhh cousin made and she's not a that great a cook and ..."

"Well I have a sister with the same problem so okay."

"Wait really?"

"sure"

He then gave a shovel to her and they started piling the dirt on the nachos.

The others were impressed.

Penn: alright you got it.

Dipper: nice one Marco.

"You guys are so dead for wasting a good set of cheese chips.

 **WIN**

 **Dipper**

The smart and responsible Mystery Twin took the stage. He caught two dudes out on a run.

"Hey uh guys could you help me bury something? It be good exercise?"

"Should we" the one one the left asked his friend.

"Don't see why not."

"Thanks guys."

The other jokers snickered at the reaction they'll get.

"Okay this won't take long" He pulled the tarp to reveal.

.

.

... the journals his great uncle wrote

"GAH, uh you know guys why don't you get back to your run I'll just " he then grabbed the books and ran for it.

The guys laughed

"I'm gonna kill you guys!"

 **LOSE**

 **Penn**

The man with the crazy red hair had already got a guy to help him bury his item.

"Alright this won't take long."

He pulled the tarp to reveal a pirate doll of a African American woman in a yellow and orange shirt with brown pants and a hat. Penn knew what that was and silently planned the demise of his friends.

"What is that?"

Penn explained "Uh this is a doll of my last crush, long story, but if my wife sees this she'll kill me."

Lincoln: considering your wife can crack a man's skull with her feet.

"Uh if you can just help with this so I don't get stuck the dog house forever."

"Hmmm fine."

The others: owww

Dipper: you got it.

Penn and the stranger then piled the dirt on the doll.

 **WIN**

 **Lincoln**

"Alright I can do this"

Penn: what he doesn't know we picked this out special for him.

Lincoln found a group of girls and asked them to help him bury what ever he had to bury, they hesitated before agreeing to so they could continue talking about boys.

"I promise ladies this wont take long..." he moved the the tarp to show...

.

.

.

.

.

... "LANA"

They saw a teenage girl in a dark green shirt, overalls, white shoes, and a red cap.

"Hey Linc."

"What are you doing?"

"The guys said I get cookies if I do this."

Linc turned to the girls and said "Uh you guys can go, sorry to waste your time." They then promptly left to let the white haired joker to pull his sister up and hug her.

"Never conspire with my friends okay?"

"If you get me ice cream?"

"Done"

 **Lose**

 **The only thing buried was Dipper's and Lincoln's lives, they're now on the loserboard.**

 **Lincoln: 2**

 **Dipper: 1**

 **Marco and Penn: 0**


	4. Impractical Debates

**Before I go into this get back here Central, I wasn't really gonna have Lana buried. It wasn't MY idea, besides same thing happen to Sal on TV when they guys left his niece to get buried. I'm not like whatever weirdos and crazy people you've seen. This is just four dudes trying to make each other uncomfortable, and not to be taken seriously.**

Now the guys were at the Cartoon City Mall.

Marco: Feels like we're always debating.

Penn: That's why we're at the Mall asking strangers to help us settle those debates.

Lincoln: But the topic of the debate will be given to us by the other guys.

Dipper: we're going tournament style, if you can't get someone to agree with yah, you lose.

 **Lincoln vs Marco**

"Guys I feel like I'm at a disadvantage here." Lincoln pointed out.

Dipper: why do you think that, you're very persuasive.

Marco explained "He's the only one of us that isn't on Disney."

OHHHH

Penn: well good luck with these guys.

They approached the Tennyson Cousins. From the new reboot.

"Excuse us could you help us, we're locked in a heated debate, we could use a third party." Marco politely asked them.

Ben asked his cousin Gwen. "Should we?"

"Well since they asked nicely I guess."

"We're in."

"Good"

Dipper: who would win in a fight

Lincoln told them "Who would win in a fight..."

Dipper: Lincoln you think Goku would win

Lincoln "...Goku vs"

Penn: Marco, you think Superman.

Marco" sigh Superman.

Cousins" No contest Superman, Jinx"

Lincoln complained "Oh come one?"

Gwen "That debates been around forever, it's old"

Ben "And I've seen the two Death Battles they had Supes has no limits, sorry man" he said as they left the jokers.

Lincoln looked pissed "I knew there was conspiracy."

Marco" Maybe next time"

 **Marco Advances**

 **Penn vs Dipper**

The other two approached a guy in a blue hoodie, jeans, and sneakers.

"Excuse us but we could use some help in this debate we're having." Penn asked.

"Fine"

Marco: what's scarier?

Penn "what's scarier?"

Marco: My wife.

Penn looked at a camera with disdain then normal at the guy "My ... Wife"

Lincoln: Dipper... My wife.

Dipper blushed at that "My wife."

The two non debating jokers laughed.

Penn gave his argument "Well my wife is kinda like a black bear, make it angry and you die. She'll tear you limb from limb."

"True that" he turned to see Sashi, his actual wife had just overheard the 'little discussion'.

Dipper sweated "Uhhh well, you see my-"

"Hey Dippy" he was surprised to be greeted by Pacifica Northwest who then kissed him on the cheek.

The guy they asked to settle the debate asked "This your wife?"

Dipper sweated and blushed "Uhhh yeah, the richest girl in town. If she doesn't get what she wants, she'll bring everything down."

"Well my wife Sashi here once pulled three tour buses, with her teeth." Penn cased.

"Paz here is part of the richest family in the world, they could take the highest people down." Dipper said.

"So who's scarier?"

The guy thought about the argument. "Well bruises and injuries can heal." he pointed to Penn's wife. "But rich people are worst"

Dipper asked excitedly "So my wife?"

"yes" he said then left.

Dipper cheered "YES HAHA" he mocked Penn before grabbing Pacifica in for a kiss.

Penn dejectedly "Aww man, but I actually had a wife."

Sashi patted him on the shoulder "Maybe next time sweety."

Dipper tried to pull away when he realized what he was doing, but got pulled back by the rich blonde.

 **Dipper Advances**

 **Marco vs Dipper**

The two finalists walked out for the final debate. They stopped a lady in a nice dress and asked if she could settle their debate.

Penn: who does a better impression of an ostrich?

Marco: Who does a better ostrich impression?

Lincoln: show her.

Dipper said. "Well here mine" he then opened the bag he was holding and put his head in it, to the other jokers laughter.

Marco countered "Well check it" he then just walked like an ostrich and made a bird sound I don't know.

"well I'm going with him" he pointed to Dipper.

"YES"

"AW COME ON"

 **Dipper wins**

 **And the first ever IJ debates champion is Dipper! And now all are on the loser board, but with three loses Lincoln is tonight's loser.**

 **What punishment do you want to see Lincoln do? Just Leave a review. hey that rhymes.**


	5. Ice Baby

**And thus the first punishment of Impractical Cartoons, and our first loser: Lincoln Loud.**

The guys were now in the park setting up the first punishment of the season.

Marco: Lincoln's our big loser and we're here for his punishment.

Penn: and were starting simple by having you do the ice bucket challenge.

Lincoln: question why am I wearing this?

Lincoln referred to the fact that he was in a diaper and a wig of when his sister Lily was a baby.

Dipper: That's the punishment, freezing cold water down your bear skin! (the others laughed while Lincoln looked annoyed) hey at least you're not doing it naked.

Lincoln walking to the big 'X' on the concrete: I'm gonna kill you.

 **Punishment**

Marco: okay you know what to do.

Lincoln sighed and lifted the big bucket filled with ice water, and poured it right on him "GAAAAAAAH FREEZING!" he then scampered all over while feeling all over frost bite. The others couldn't hold themselves. "Am I done?"

Penn: haha ... nope.

Dipper: that was just the first wave.

Lincoln wide eyed "First wave?!" Just then a crowd began pelting him with balloons filled with icy water "Oh, ow, ow, ow GAH" This went on for two minutes until they were all out of balloons.

Marco: Linc how you feeling there buddy.

Lincoln was shivering uncontrollably, the diaper barely hanging on. "Like I'm in Antarctica."

Penn: well we'll give you 5 minutes until the final level.

"What's the fi-fi-fi-fi-if-final level?"

The jokers: you'll see.

 **5 minutes later**

Lincoln was still cold, he was hugging himself with one arm while holding up his only article of clothing with the other. "Can I please go home?"

Dipper: just one last bucket and you're free to go. (Apologetic)

Just then Lincoln heard beeping and paled when he saw...

.

.

.

... a giant dump truck filled with water and a lot of ice

"Guys please tell me this is a joke?" he pleaded.

Marco: Uh guys what's with the truck?

Penn: I thought you guys got it.

Dipper: I thought you got it.

All three: oh no.

He saw the driver and sighed angrily.

.

.

..."HI LINCOLN"

"LUAN" he screamed.

"Sorry" she said until dumping the entire thing on the unfortunate white haired joker.

"Oh crap"

 **SPLASH**

The wave was so big it knocked him several feet, also it was the last straw before the diaper fell off leaving him buck naked. He was on the ground freezing cold in his birthday suit. The guys came over to him and wrapped him up in towels.

Dipper: sorry Linc, but we didn't hire your sister to do this.

Lincoln: how do I know you're not lying to me?

Penn: Dude, we would never go that far.

Marco: we're sorry.

They hugged the swaddled Lincoln.

Lincoln: it's fine guys. Though when I get better from my all over frost bite... you'll pay.

He finished off with a devil smirk to the camera.

 **And that's the first punishment, and BTW I did not plan Luan to do that. Okay, what will the guys do next? And who will be the next big loser?**

 **Stay tuned**


	6. WHEEL OF DOOM

**Okay new episodes of Impractical Cartoons.**

 **Here's the first challenge.**

The guys were now in the park, and in between the group was a big wheel with embarrassing tasks.

Marco: from this day forward, our fate shall be determined by the

WHEEL OF DOOM. (all four guys)

Lincoln: We shall each step forth and take a spin of thee

WHEEL OF DOOM

Dipper: To not lose, you must what is decreed by the

WHEEL OF DOOM

Penn: the

WHEEL OF DOOM

 **Lincoln**

As the first ever loser Lincoln will go first.

Lincoln: okay this wheel has some serious stuff on it.

Marco: juist hope you get something simple.

Lincoln then spun the wheel hard, it spun until the dial landed on ...

.

.

... **Smack a lady's ass**

Guys: Ooooooooooooooooo

Lincoln: seriously! That!

 **Challenge**

Lincoln walked along the stoned path of the park. "I predict I'm gonna die from this."

Penn: Smack a woman's ass, get knocked on yours.

Dipper: you'll be fine, just run after that.

Lincoln walked along a path that had a lot of different ladies. Lincoln had a huge blush that he would have to touch one of their rears, granted it was his challenge but it's still hard. Then he saw one he knew VERY personally.

His old friend and current girlfriend Ronnie Anne Santiago. He smiled at her beauty, and decided that it be easier since he knew her. Though that could also end up with him in a hospital.

Marco: hmm going for the person he knows.

Penn: a nice play, but this one has a fist like a hammer.

Lincoln snuck up behind the Latina and readied his hand. Gulp, and

 **SMACK**

 **EEP**

The next thing Ronnie Anne saw was Lincoln running away, she had an idea on what happen and proceeded to run after him.

"I'm gonna get you Lame-o"

Penn: haha he got it.

Marco: And he's gonna get it.

 **WIN**

 **Penn**

The red headed joker stepped up to the wheel. He spun it.

Penn: come on

it then landed on

.

.

.

... **get 20 dollars from each joker!**

Guys: OH COME ON!

Penn: YES. Penn then got sixty dollars from the three.

 **WIN**

 **Marco**

It was now the Latino joker's turn.

Marco: alright here I GO. He then spun the wheel and...

.

... guys: SERIOUSLY! Marco also landed on get twenty dollars from each joker.

Dipper and Lincoln: I'm down forty dollars now!

 **WIN**

 **Dipper**

Dipper: Alright my turn.

Marco: finish the trifecta.

Penn: three twenty dollars.

Lincoln to Dipper: If you get that twenty...I'm done with this episode.

Dipper then spun the wheel...

.

.

..

..

... **give a big guy a wet willie!**

Ohhhhhh

Dipper: no.

Lincoln: yes.

 **Challenge**

Dipper went out for his task, slightly sweating.

Lincoln: if he doesn't do this, you guys give my money back.

Marco: can't, I was gonna bet he doesn't.

Penn: same.

Lincoln: fine, he does it, I get my twenty dollars back from both of you.

Dipper soon came up to a huge guy with muscles. He licked his finger and readied to run for it after this. He slowly rose his finger to the guy's ear.

Marco: he's not doing this is he?

Dipper closed his finger to the muscle bound dude's ear and

Lincoln: Dipper Pines, I love you for the first time in my life, give me back my twenty dollars. Lincoln celebrated while Marco and Penn gave back twenty dollars each.

After swoshing his saliva covered finger in the guys ear, Dipper ran for it like the dickens.

 **WIN**

 **All for guys evaded their doom, leaving the loserboard clean as a whistle.**


	7. Over the Shoulder

**Alright I'll be updating two stories today. This is gonna be one of the current challenges of Impractical Jokers.**

The four guys were now in a grocery store, ready for the first team challenge of the series.

Lincoln: We're at Wegmans playing a game called 'Over the Shoulder'.

Marco: We'll be competing in teams, one teammate will sneak a item out of a strangers cart and toss it over to their partner.

Penn: the goal is to catch as many items as you can without dropping them, or getting caught.

Dipper: whoever scores the lowest, loses.

 **Lincoln and Dipper**

Okay the jokers with sisters are going first. Lincoln will be catching, while Dipper was throwing.

Penn:this will be easy.

Marco: These two are the least athletic of all of us.

Lincoln and Dipper narrowed their eyes at hidden cameras "We'll see about that."

Dipper was looking around until he spotted Lindsey from Total Drama with a cart full of food. "Look over their, it's whatever boy band is currently popular!" He screamed while pointing behind Lindsey.

Lindsey squealed and ran for it leaving her unattended cart for the jokers doing. Dipper then went to toss all the contents into Lincoln's arms on the other side, over his shoulder of course. Lincoln was able to skillfully catch all the items. His arms got full so he had to get creative. He had groceries in his arms, legs, mouth, and the back of his neck.

"And that's the last of it." Dipper said while tossing a packet of frozen fish sticks, which landed on Lincoln's mountain of food on his right arm.

Marco wide eyed: Okay, much better than I thought.

Penn: we may have our work cut out for us.

 **19**

 **Marco and Penn**

The Latino, and red headed joker was now up. They need to get twenty to win, this will be a challenge.

 **One food tossing montage later**

Marco was now holding a huge amount of food, one more and they win.

But then, ...

.

...Penn was approached an elder women. "Did you see someone take my bread?" Penn paled, Marco turned around to avoid her seeing his giant pile of tossed groceries.

"Uh no." Penn nervously smiled.

"I swear someone swiped all the bread in my cart." She then saw some stuff from the other side of Marco and started to walk over.

They gulped and... "hey"

 **19**

 **The guys had their catch of the day, leaving no marks still on the loserboard**


	8. Laugh Man Standing

**Okay, so it seems someone actually remembers some of my other fics. Usually people only acknowledges my PZ story, but it feels nice to get attention for other fics. So I'll just get those out of the way before going back to my OC twin heroes.**

 **Enjoy.**

We now cut to an office area for a four way challenge, the guys have gone the entire episode with no losses. So they decided to make this on a tie breaker.

Marco: we're a bunch of salesman waiting for an interview.

Penn: but while we're waiting, the other three guys will be in the room with us, trying to make us laugh.

Dipper: The goal is to be the last one left without laughing. You laugh, you lose.

Lincoln: It's LAUGH MAN STANDING!

Penn: Or sitting in our case.

Guys: yeah totally.

Lincoln: this pun has been approved by Luan Loud.

 **Marco. Vs. Penn...Vs. Dipper...vs Lincoln**

The four jokers were on opposing corners of the waiting room. And the place had some unsuspecting victims.

First it was Lincoln's turn. He started off with a nice simple hat. That once he put on his head... it sprung off and landed on the floor. The people gave a slight chuckle, but the jokers... not even a blink.

So now it was Marco's turn. So he then removed his hoodie to reveal... a My Little Pony shirt with the mane six on it. The guys were trying not to laugh at this, but everyone else wasn't so lucky. But the three jokers lived to fight another round.

So now it was Penn's turn. Just then we heard a ringing sound. He pulled out his phone and said, "Oh, guess it's time." He then stood up, walked to the middle of the room, laid down a yoga mat? And then removed his shirt to show his wife's sports bra, then he started doing yoga. Much to the other patrons humor or disgust. One in particular of a tall anthro bluejay in a business shirt cringed, "Ugh gross." But the biggest laugh came from Marco.

 **Marco Diaz is eliminated.**

Marco: well I ghehe guess they need me now.

He said before leaving to their hidden set up room, when he got to the monitor "I can't believe I got out so quickly!"

Back to the other three.

Now it was Dipper's turn to make the other two laugh. He let out a tiny smirk as a woman came in with a small girl with brown hair and an oversized sweater.

Marco: Dipper brought in a human prop? It would appear to be his niece Mabel Jr.

The woman then sat the kid on Lincoln's lap, then left. The tiny kid then laughed at Lincoln's uneasy expression, and so he just bounced her on his knee. Some were perplexed, Penn had a smirk, but Dipper got himself out as a tried to sneak a small chuckle while holding his face.

Marco: Dipper what are you doing? You got yourself out you dummy.

Dipper then giggled, "Well I'm done here." he continued this fit as he walked out of the room. When he came to the monitor with Marco, "I kamikazied it, hehehe, I got myself out."

 **Dipper Pines is eliminated.**

We're down to two. The part time hero, and the man with double digit number of sisters. So after they tried other things, Lincoln went in for the kill. He pulled on a rope, that pulled in a large duffle bag from the outside. And from inside the bag, he pulled out a small latino baby in a green onesie.

Marco said to Dipper: did you know about this.

Dipper: not really.

Marco: You didn't know you both were bringing in different children.

Lincoln said putting his newest addition next to the little brown haired girl, "He's my nephew."

The other guys were laughing their asses off, and Penn couldn't hold in a chuckle anymore.

So

 **Penn Zero is eliminated.**

 **Lincoln kept his laughs to himself, making the other three tonight's losers, making a three way punishment.**

 **And what will that punishment be, stay tuned.**


	9. Who Knows Lincoln

**Okay after a long absence I officially give to you the first triple punishment of Impractical Cartoons.**

The jokers were right now at a waterfall in the forest, Lincoln was standing of to the side while the others were standing by the edge. In front of each loser were three circle pads.

Lincoln: Welcome ladies and gentlemen... to LICNOLN FALLS! Here we will decide who is my true best friend, other than Clyde.

Marco: What's gonna happen to us?

Lincoln: Simple, I'll ask you guys a few questions about my life. For each question you get wrong, you move up one space. Answer to many wrong-

Dipper: And we go over the thing?

Lincoln: Precisely.

Penn: this is payback for diaper ice truck thing isn't it?

Lincoln: probably. Write your answers on the boards in front of. (The guys pick up the boards, markers and erasers). And lets get this started.

 **Question one.**

 **What is the name of Lincoln's youngest sister?**

The guys wrote down their guesses.

Lincoln: Times up, lets see what you got.

 **Marco: Lily**

 **Dipper: Lily**

 **Penn:... Lana**

Lincoln: Ohhh, Penn it's actually Lily, that's one mark against you.

Penn: Damn it! (takes a step on the yellow pad) You have ten sisters, how am I suppose to keep track of them all?

 **Question 2**

 **Who was Lincoln's first girlfriend?**

This was a tougher one, they put down their best guesses.

Lincoln: let's see what you got, and who was paying attention to my love life?

 **Marco: Ronnie Anne**

 **Dipper: Paige**

 **Penn: Christina**

Lincoln: Marco you are correct!

Marco: Yes! (fist pumped)

Dipper and Penn: Shoot (Steps forward)

Penn was one wrong answer away from going over the waterfall.

 **Question Three**

 **Where did Lincoln's white hair come from?**

Dipper: How are we supposed to know this? You never told us!

Lincoln: That's your problem.

 **Marco: hereditary**

 **Dipper: IDK**

 **Penn: genetics**

Lincoln: And the correct answer is... from the men on my mom's side of the family! So Marco and Penn you live another day.

Dipper: Oh come on! (Moves to the red circle)

 **Question four**

 **What would be the name of Lincoln biography?**

Marco: I'm not even go write anything, one of you two will be going over. (mocking the other jokers)

Dipper: I wrote " **One vs 10, The Life of Lincoln Loud** ".

Lincoln: Hmmm that's a good one, now Penn.

Penn: " **Lincoln Loud: The Legend among Legends"**

Dipper: Seriously!

Lincoln: Hmmm, liking both choices. But I'm going with Penn!

Dipper: NOOO!

Penn: HAHA!

Dipper inches towards the edge of the cliff, he covers his eyes before jumping off and landing in the water below.

Lincoln: Okay that's one man down, two more left. Marco has two lives left, while Penn is on his last lifeline.

 **Question five**

 **How many fingers is Lincoln Holding behind his back?**

 **Marco: 2**

 **Penn: 4**

Lincoln moved his hand to reveal... five fingers! "Since Penn was closest Marco step forward."

Marco: Shit! (Stepping forward)

Lincoln: Final question guys, this one could bring it all down.

 **Question Six**

 **What's Lincoln's highest bowling score?**

Lincoln: alright lets see those scores.

 **Marco: 4**

 **Penn: 51**

Lincoln: And my highest score is... 60! Marco you're done!

Marco: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (he screamed while jumping down, landing next to a soaking Dipper)

And after that Lincoln and Penn went to get hot dogs, leaving the losers at the bottom. Until the next time.

 **Sorry I haven't updated this in a while, I've been busy as hell. College, other stories, the usual. Promise the next one won't be as late as this.**


End file.
